Annette Mabuku

I have been to numerous pre funeral events/ wakes and in the process the observant spirit in me has picked up, somewhat disturbing emerging traits among our people.

These mischievous behavour that seem to have become widespread with monotonous regularity, have turned out to be a sore to the eyes. Of course people die, and those left behind are filled with anguish and sadness needing emotional support. However, such support cannot only be limited to hugs, kisses and words of comfort alone. Tangible support is equally of importance. 

Times have changed. In retrospect, during the time I was growing up in my high school years, I recall seeing elders in my village preparing and carrying food from their homes to support bereaved families. The elderly women would grieve together with mourners and offer the necessary assistance in all shapes and forms.

These women understood that mourners had to endure an unconceivable emotional toll and would therefore be incapacitated to carry out immediate logistical duties, therefore, they instead borne the burden of such responsibilities themselves. They prepared and provided food to the family.

The women in the village would cook and serve the coming visitors at the funeral house. This would continue for a good number of days until such a time the bereaved family are able to fend for themselves and everyone else.

Paradoxically, there’s a new trend that has started to emerge nowadays. A culture of greed and self-interest. It is heart-rending that, instead of coming to comfort the bereaved family; we go to funerals to indulge in all sorts of social ills, making it difficult for those grieving to mourn their loved ones in peace. Instead of consoling the family, we make unnecessary demands over food without having given any sort of support whatsoever. 

Gone are the good old days when people were kind and caring towards each other. I miss the days when people would carry each other’s burdens. 

What happened to the spirit of Ubuntu? Does the adage “I am a person through other people”, still make sense? It is never too late to learn to be kind again. It’s time we render each other a helping hand. More so, during these difficult and trying times, for the Bible reminds us, “Blessed is the hand that gives.”